Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows

Within the first few minutes of the film, I remembered how much I dislike big budget blockbuster films. I don't get off on explosions. I don't enjoy chase scenes. I am not wrapped up in shallow shocks and suspense. When it comes to magic, I'm even less involved. How come sometimes these teens are able to transport to another location? While other times we're left watching them wiggle their way out of a boring encounter for fifteen minutes? Wiggle your noses or something, kids. Just keep moving.

Something went terribly wrong with the Harry Potter films after the fourth film. What went wrong? I'm not terribly sure. But, the fifth and sixth film were horrible. After seeing the sixth film, I told myself 'no more Harry Potter.' I lied. I didn't have to pay for the ticket. And, I have sat through six other films. Why not sit through one more? Oh, wait... two more!

If you were to count the amount of times we had to look at Harry Potter shirtless... you'd have all your fingers up on one hand. Is this wizard porn? Am I watching Twilight? When did Harry Potter turn into a franchise for making tweens wet? I wasn't expecting this forced sexuality. Or, maybe, I'm too sensitive. But, I really doubt that. And, speaking of a "maturity" factor... there is a scene where Harry takes Hermione to dance along to a song on the radio. This is supposed to be a friendly moment, maybe. It comes off as some complicated untold love story. The type of scene one expects to see with a bunch of on the brink of divorce 30 year olds trying to seduce the one that got away. It just felt awkward. Incredibly out of place.

My father described the film as "teenagers on a camping trip." I might call it "teenagers on a campy trip." The lines are bad. Half the acting is lame. The film is meant to rely on action and story. But, being as this is a lead in to the final battle... there isn't much action. So, we're left with story. And, even that is wearing thin at this point.

Let's talk about originality. Is Harry Potter just the Chronicles of Narnia meets Lord of the Rings meets the 21st century? I know these complaints have been made before. And, I've read all but the last book in the series... but, these films just come off as complete remakes of other films and novels. The scene of the ball of light in the woods... I half expected it to turn into Cate Blanchett. And, hell, who didn't want Tilda Swinton to show up as the White Witch? Give us something to cheer about.


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